In Other News ...

I've heard that Pakistan is experiencing devastating flooding.

And, is it possible that more troops were killed in Afghanistan over the weekend? God I hope not.

I also believe someone mentioned that we're in for another slump in the housing market; wait? did the first one actually end?

Don't ask me. This past week, I've had a BIG old case of "the-world-revolves-around -me - head-in-the-sand-itis"

It's probably just me, but when receiving chemotherapy treatment, there are times when the only thing you can think about is yourself and the way you feel.

Definitely a bad strategy, because listen to me sister, you prolly ain't feeling so good.

So why dwell on it?

In my case, it's about all my damn feeble mind can do to think about the fact that food doesn't taste at all like it should and my beloved coffee stinks like something from the gutter; and don't you come near me with those cookies mister. And especially not that glass of wine.

But good Lord. I am hungry. So hungry. Let me just try some of that whatever it is. Maybe if I can just catch a satisfying taste of something, my stomach will feel satisfied and stop it's funky growling-nausea dance. No matter if it makes my mouth feel like I just swabbed an open sore with fresh squeezed lemon juice. I'll keep trying with the food until I get it right.

I shouldn't underestimate my my mental capabilities so much. There are other things I do think about. Like how cold it is on sixty-degree August night when you have very little hair on your head. I'm sure I probably look very sexy sleeping in a knit hat.

And I do spend an awful lot of time pondering the wonderment of my bowels. What on earth are they doing with all that food I'm ingesting? What exactly dear bowels, would be the precise combination of Colace and Milk of Magnesia to get things, ahem, moving? Without mimicking that torrential flooding in Pakistan, that is. Any indication at all, would be appreciated.

Then there is that wound on my right hand that causes nurses and oncologists alike to exclaim "ewww" when looking at it. What kind of comfort am I supposed to derive from the squeamish look that appears on their faces? You've determined it's only a spider bite - so suck it up. It's not that bad.

Yes, I spent way to much time over the weekend dwelling in my woes that really and truly aren't all that bad. It's just when you feel kind of sick and your energy is lower than a slug's ass, it's real easy to get all wrapped up in your own little pity party.

Thankfully, as silently as the insidious side effects begin to reappear, so they begin to disappear.

One morning, about a week after the infusion, you wake up to find the enemy has retreated ever so slightly. You notice that foods taste a little more like they should. That climb upstairs to your bedroom after your morning shower? It isn't like scaling K2 after all.

Then, even though you never really forgot, you remember all the amazing, helpful, kind and loving people in your life; surrounding you, banning together to hold that safety net beneath you. You revel in the joy and gratitude of receiving their cards in the mail and the delicious meals that have kept your family supped whilst you lift nary a finger.

And you remember, ever so thankfully, that not one of your loved ones is overseas fighting in a different, more ridiculous kind of war in which their survival is in jeopardy daily.

You remember too, that unlike so many others, you have a safe, warm home in which to sleep while wearing that "all gangsta" pink and white hat that grandma knit for the homeless.

And best of all, your children and their lives come back into focus. You notice all the great jokes they've told over the last week and how one of them sat in bed with you and played Gin Rummy until all hours.

Finally, you realize how patient they've been waiting for you to remember that sometimes the world actually does revolve around them and the very real fact that they are about to embark upon their own amazing milestones. In just a few short days, you consciously acknowledge (just in the nick of time I might add), that school will be starting and one will be a Senior while the other begins her first year in middle school.

Inevitably, gratefully, the focus will shift to other news.